First, you make a roux...

Thus begins many a recipe for the Cajun and Creole delicacies of my beloved home state of Louisiana.  A roux is the essential base used for thickening and flavoring gumbos, jambalayas, ettouffes, seafood bisques and more.  The “proper” way to make a roux is a hotly debated topic and everyone from home cooks to professional chefs has an opinion about the best technique – just ask!  What is consistent among all of the “expert” opinions is the tenet that the roux can make or break the dish and one must never underestimate its importance.  

In my experience, making a good roux requires three things: preparation, careful attention to detail and proper timing.  It starts by adding flour to butter or oil and then simmering until it reaches the desired color which can be anywhere from a light béchamel to a dark chocolate brown.  You must use your senses of sight, smell, touch and taste to achieve the desired goal.  Constant stirring is required to avoid scorching.  If you rush it or apply too much heat, it may become bitter or burn.  If this happens, you must throw it out and start over!  I confess to discarding more than a few failed roux as I was learning how to cook in New Orleans.  Mastering the roux requires good mentoring and practice.  These same principles apply to developing skills as a mediator and TMG has been a terrific source of wisdom and experience.  The fellowship program has enabled me to enhance my legal education and learn from seasoned experts in the field of alternative dispute resolution.  Like all good cooks and chefs, the mediators have developed their own styles and are true artisans at work.  Whether in the kitchen or at the mediation table, here are a few guiding principles which I have learned along the way.      

Prepare ~

Secure the right tools and the right ingredients before you start the roux.  For me, this most often involves a cast iron pot and a flattened wooden spoon.  Before the mediation, read and study the parties’ briefs. Take notes, draw timelines of events and research cited cases.  Engage in any pre-mediation conferences with counsel or parties as appropriate or desired.  Understanding the foundational elements of the parties’ interests and positions prepares the mediator to deal with the nuances which will inevitably be expressed as the mediation unfolds.  Prepare the parties for the process by explaining what mediation is and what it is not.  Clarify the mediator’s role as a neutral and emphasize that any potential resolution is in their hands.  Assure them that you are prepared to work hard for both (all) sides. 

Attend to what’s happening ~

Take your focus off the roux at your own peril!  In the mediation, use your senses, intuitions, perceptions and stay focused.  Attend to what’s being said and to what’s not being said.  Ask for clarity when unsure of something.  Carefully observe the parties’ body language, tone and interactions.  Ask yourself the following: Will expressions of empathy or humor help to move the process forward?  How do the parties react to the messages being communicated by the mediator?  Where are the parties getting stuck?  Realize that they are trying to get a sense of you as well, so consider what messages your actions, posture, facial expressions, language and tone might be sending.  

Timing is critical ~

Whether cooking or mediating, remember that patience is indeed a virtue.  A rich, dark roux can require as much as 45 minutes of constant stirring and simmering.  When mediating, carefully consider the best timing of certain actions: when to speak; when to be quiet; when to challenge; when to ask questions; when to turn up the heat and when to back off.  Trust your good instincts and make real time adjustments based on the changing dynamics in the room.  I am amazed at the times when all hope of a settlement seems lost, but then something shifts.  The parties are able to regain traction and reach an agreement.  Often, this is the result of the mediator’s skillful use of time.  

Helping people resolve their disputes can be enormously gratifying.  Cases which have been tied up in litigation, sometimes for years, can be resolved in a day as a result of good skillful mediation.  When the parties reach a settlement, it makes all of the preparation and hard work of mediation worth it.  It’s almost as satisfying as when your dinner guests ask for a second helping of your seafood gumbo.  Good job, y’all!